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If you’re like me, you inherently realize the value of strong female friendships. And after all, all of the women in the ‘female fiction’ books you read, or TV shows (think Rachel and Monica and Phoebe) or movies (Thelma and Louise? Beaches?) seem to have learned that finding and maintaining those relationships is a piece of cake, right? I mean, they just happen so naturally, right? Guess what? WRONG!
It’s scary! And it’s even scarier when you’re a young mom (or newly married) because, let’s face it…old things have passed away. Like your friendships with single friends who don’t have to clean up projectile vomiting at 3am or refrain from hitting a husband over the head when he looks at you wrong. The biggest thing they worry about is a broken nail or a bad hair day. Gahh…you’re lucky if you even get a shower this week!
But the thought of striking up a friendship with someone you don’t know strikes fear in your soul. You’re immediately taken back to middle school when the all important thing in life was whether the popular girls would accept you into their little popular girl clique. What if the grown up prospective friend gives you that head to toe and back to head “look”? You know the one. What if? What if she laughs at you? What if she thinks you’re weird? Or needy? Let’s be real. The grown up women in your circle are highly unlikely to do that. And if they are predisposed to that kind of behavior, you’re in the wrong place.
So how do you meet women friends who are in the same boat? In her book, ‘Women Are Scary’, Melanie Dale takes a hilarious look at how we search and and find others who want to journey along with us in this crazy, fun, beautiful life. The step by step how-to book is laugh-out-loud funny as you explore finding friendships within the context of the old (heretofore all male standby) first base, second base, third base, and when you’re really, really lucky, fourth base – which is a friendship that you will value and treasure.
You know, if we searched for female friends with the same laser-like focus that we employed when hunting a husband, we’d all be better off. For some reason, we expect female friendships to just happen. Why is that? When you’re single, you’re hyper alert and sensitive to prospective husband material. But prospective friend material. You expect it to drop in your lap. Guess what? Work it, girl! Anyone friend worth being and staying in your life is someone worth searching for and working to keep.
Melanie gives you a ton of ideas of where you will find like minded women, and when you do find them, how to recognize them. And after that, how to begin the first little budding friendship. How to go about having ‘Mom Dates’. These are the all important times that you carve out of your schedule to spend with your friends. You know, those women who will tell you the truth about your mom jeans? Or that you have toilet paper hanging off your rear? Or the eye makeup that you think says, “Come hither” really says “Run for your life!!!”?
You have to realize that it’s time to stop wondering why you don’t have a bunch of great female friends like everyone else (news flash – we don’t) and start working on it. Start doing something about it. Start making it a priority. Because it is. Your husband is your #1, but he cannot give you what your female friends do. He freezes when you ask, “Does this make my butt look big?” Your female friends? Hah. They say, “Well, uh, yeah, it kinda does.” If they’re real friends. If not, they freeze, too.
You will totally enjoy this book by Melanie Dale. And you’ll find yourself excited about finding some moms to date! The book is available at Family Christian Stores here.
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